Just Dad

Boys,

There are times when there has to be confrontation. Don't look for it, but don't shy away from it either. I heard someone once say that "Confrontation was best served cold." In other words, don't wait to confront an issue, but handle it right then and there. You do not need to speak or act without thinking, but I have found that the longer you put off a much needed confrontational conversation the thoughts of the issue at hand will begin to fester into bitterness and undue anger.

You don't have to be angry to confront. The goal of any confrontation is not to prove yourself right, but to better the situation for the right. When you do what you do for the betterment of yourself and others, do not apologize for it. Keep a loving attitude, even when you have to do the difficult.

With that in mind, I do what I do for your betterment. I don't like it when I think you are mad at me, but I can take it. When discipline comes, you are not the happiest, and I am not your favorite. I can take it. You will have the opportunity to be kids and make many mistakes. However, you will also be taught lessons so that when you are no longer a child, you can put away childish things and thoughts.

The goal is to love life to the fullest, and live to become the man God (and your mom and I) want you to be.

I love you,

Dad

Thanksgiving Weekend

Boys,

As you know, we celebrated at Grandpa and Grandma's house this year. Usually we go to Sevierville, but we decided that we would just stay with your mom's family. It was a combination of trying to be responsible with our money and hoping that the days would be more restful. I hope it was all accomplished.

The thing that struck me this year is how much time you guys spent outside. The weather was cold, but you stuck it out. I know the club/fort never came through, but the process that was going on in your minds was right. It was an adventure. You picked up a hammer and worked to do something you had never done before. I liked it.

The struggle and tension that exists between you (at times) wasn't there during this trip. Sure, you had your moments; but who doesn't? You were building more than a fort, you were building memories. Keep them with you always, and try to build better ones tomorrow.

I love you all.

Dad

35 Days...

Boys,

I'm sure you know it, but it's 35 days till Christmas.

Jonah, you doubted me. Remember, you don't actually count Christmas day! Let's not get so overwhelmed this year that we miss the wonder of every day.

Jonathan, mom and I came by your school today to be with you for your Thanksgiving lunch. I'm not sure we fulfilled everything because we only were with you and didn't actually eat. Always keep in mind that we love you, and we like being with you. We really do try to give each of you individual attention. It's hard, because we all seem to be together all of the time. Help us make these times we do share together very special.

Jonah, you are really growing up. To be honest, sometimes I sense things are churning in you like the young lion just itching to "take over" the pride. You're strong willed. It's one of the things that you get from me. It will take you far if you learn to harness it and maintain control. Please allow your Heavenly Father to help you with this one, because it's not something you can do completely on your own. The reason is that this strong will can lead to stubbornness. They are not the same thing, but they are not far apart from each other either. Watch this.

Isaac. You constantly amaze me, the way you adapt and survive around your brothers. Watch your emotions, and you will be fine. Be 5 and be proud! Learn to control yourself and speak the things that are on your mind with confidence and clarity. We will listen.

I love you boys. I throw in this picture of you guys and Ralphie. What a dumb, but lovable dog!

Dad

Leadership

Boys,

Leadership means that you go "before" others get there. Sometimes, they won't understand why you are going. They certainly will not appreciate the struggle it took you to make the way when they get there. You lead anyway.

Be willing to stand up for what you believe in when all are against it. Just be sure about what you believe in. Live to make a difference in your life. Go where none have gone before.

In the movie, Apollo 13, there were those who sat behind the desk and there were the astronauts. Be the astronauts. At the very least, be the one leading from the ground. Don't just sit behind a desk.

----------------------------

Jonah and Jonathan: This morning you were laughing together as we went to school. I love that.

Dad

Making a difference with your life

Boys,

I spoke to the people today about bearing the burdens of those around us. The premise was that most of the time we are content to simply "observe" without acting on behalf of another. I don't want this to be said of you. Get your hands dirty. Be willing to lift another out of the problem they are in.

The movie Saving Private Ryan is on tv as I am typing this. The mission is to find one man, Private Ryan, in order to send him home from the war. The ending has a scene where, after massive loss of life, the captain speaks his own dying words to the young James Ryan. Ryan is simply told, "Earn this."

Veterans Day is when we honor those who gave their lives to bear burdens so that we didn't have to. Earn this honor boys. Life your life to make a difference for your God and for your country. Be willing to be the one(s) who will step up when the moment comes. Do what others are unable, or unwilling, to do.

------------------------------------

Jonathan, before bed tonight you said it felt as if you only had a "little bit of Jesus" in you. You wanted more. You spoke to God like you would speak to a friend. It was beautiful, and God will answer.

Dad

2007 11 11

The Beginning

Boys,

I'm beginning this blog with the knowledge that you might not read it for some time. Actually, the more I think about it, you're getting so big that it might not be so long after all. I hope to share what I feel about you, and maybe even give you something that you can take with you to make you better men. With all of this, I'm still not going to miss out on any opportunity to speak with you face to face. In today's world, and probably even more so in your tomorrow, the joy and awe of face to face conversation is slowly slipping away. We're all more and more comfortable sharing our feelings on the written page and the computer screen. Even so, the things you might read have already been spoken or shown to you, and I want this blog to always be a reminder.

We tend to forget more than we remember. That conversation, feeling or life-lesson that is so powerful that we feel as if it will always be with us gets lost in the chaos of our lives. It's why we take pictures. It's why I wish we had used our video camera more. It's why I weep that you are all growing up so fast. I don't want to ever forget our time together. Each day when there is a struggle of wills or a moment when a harsh word is spoken I agonize over it. Time is so fleeting and I realize that I don't want a moment wasted with something I wish I hadn't said or done.

I'm not perfect boys. I want to be, but I'm not. I want you to be, too; but you're not. I miss you when you're not with me. I miss your mother when she's not with me. I love her and you so much. I don't show it enough, and I'm sorry.

Jonah, you are my first-born, and I long for the days we sat in the chair together. Too often you are the experiment. I'm going to let you be you. I'm impressed with you.

Jonathan, you have a tender heart. Don't lose it. Letting others do well will never mean you are less. I'm going to help you harness your greatness.

Isaac, man you are full of life. You're not a baby anymore, and you have something to add to the conversation. Keep talking, we will listen.

Hol, this will be for the boys, but I love you. Help me be who I am supposed to be. I will always anticipate your needs.